Strawberry Pretzel Crunch Cake
To make it really short - I’m a 2x marathon runner and despite all the travel + work + life craziness, I made marathon no. 2 happen, and I’m so insanely proud of myself. I started running the race and the nerves + any worry about finishing just melted away. The phrase that kept repeating and the thought I couldn’t shake was “I’m going to finish my second marathon today.” And in that moment I was so connected to my desire to finish + run a race that I could be proud of - that was all that really mattered. I have been wanting to feel that connection + passion to finish pretty much this entire training period. That desire to just say “I ran a marathon” was an emotion that was so unwaivering when I ran my first marathon 6 months ago, and truly the feeling around finishing the marathon was its own real deal emotion. I’ve spent weeks leading up to race day wanting to have it come back and give me that runners boost this time around (more to come on the struggle of this marathon in a sec), and it was a challenge. I spent the night before the marathon just forcing myself to “not worry about” and just like forget I was running a race because it had been stressing me out so bad. But at the final second, when it really mattered, it kicked in. I was focused on me, not selling myself short, and proving to myself I could do this. The strong desire to say I’m a 2x marathon finisher carried me that last 6 miles, and I finally had that emotional connection to doing this.
Running isn’t something I’ve done my whole life, and for whatever reason, it’s become this passion that I feel so strongly connected to. It’s one thing I will be sad if I don’t do, and I’ll plan a large part of my day/week around getting a runs in because it’s just that important to me. If I don’t do it + protect the time for it, I think about it, and pretty much just think “I need to go on a run.” It has this pull on my life, and I think in a really positive way. It’s the thing that I do that makes me feel strong, happy, & puts me in my most positive headspace. A long run gives me so much joy, and makes me feel accomplished. Like I did something not everyone can do. I think the thing that it has given me the most is it has made me life myself and see value in myself + my ability to be resilient in a way that I’ve never felt before, and frankly needed. I grew up so insanely bullied that I can’t even begin to go through the stories because it’ll make me sob, but fuck - it sucked. And I do hate the word “bullying” - it sounds lame + sad, but (with a lot of counseling) is something I can say is part of my life and impactful in good + bad ways. Good ways - I really try to make people feel welcome in a genuine way, I want to celebrate my favorite people when they need it + pick them up when there down if they’re needing that too, and I want my friends to know I really care for them + their feelings. Bad ways - a total shut down the moment you feel rejected, and a strong desire to just “fit in” that’s probably not healthy. But at the end of the day, I can say that there’s this younger version of myself that I’m kind of doing this for. The young girl who was so scared to be herself (and sometimes still is) because she felt unliked, and truly thought of herself as a loser (which if you’ve ever actually thought about yourself that way, it’s the fucking worst) - she turned into an adult who can do something hard, challenging, and do it all by herself, and experience this whole new emotion of being proud. And another whole new emotion of not wanting to be anyone else. That’s what running + checking off these loftier fitness goals has given to me, and I am so extremely grateful to have found something that has evoked such a positive view of myself.
Everytime I step out to go on a run, I do it for myself. Literally no one else. Yes people can be encouraging + nice + a great cheerleader, but no one can really help you finish a marathon but yourself. And you’ve got to be pretty darn committed to it. This round 2 of training was probably the hardest thing I’ve mentally had to do. I spent so many long runs suffering through the first 7 miles, fighting off an anxiety attack, actively trying to calm myself down. It was miserable, and I wanted to give up. The root of my anxiety was feeling insecure about myself - letting someone else’s words + shitty behavior towards me impact me so heavily that it was clouding my mind + moments that I would have liked to enjoy. And the thought I was so distracted by was “what is so wrong with me? or “what is so different about me that I’m so easily defined as not worth being around?” Just - not good. Had literally nothing to do with my run, and ultimately I knew that I’m letting one persons dumb opinion get to me, and it did. It’s because I knew that, I also knew I didn’t want to give this person the power to sabotage enjoying my life + working towards my goals. So I ran. On days when I felt sad or rejected or was so low I didn’t want to get out of bed, I forced myself to run and works towards my goal. I’m so glad I did, and though it made for not the most enjoyable training experience, part of me thinks “well jeez - if I could still make this happen in a not so awesome headspace, imagine what I could do on my best day.”
I was lucky to come across some pretty simple advice while I was struggling emotionally + in the midst of training, and it was a woman who told a story and it ended with “and in that moment I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone else define me.” I heard that and the whole message around it, and it was just impactful. It hit the nail on the head for me, and pretty heavily summarized that I was another person out here trying so hard to not let an instance of someone making me feel like a loser lead to me believing that about myself. I’m still just one person just trying to not let other people define my self worth, and damn it’s a challenge for me, but I’m still trying and on this occasion, it didn’t stop me from doing something that made me proud to be me.
An emotional story to write + I’m probably not quite putting it as eloquently as I like, but I really hope that the people i know + care about don’t struggle with these emotions. I’ll continue to do my best in being cheerleader for someone else’s success or an active listener when needed in hopes that my words provide some encouragement + support instead of leading someone down a path of looking at themself in a pretty negative light, and my hope is anyone I share this story with will choose do the same. Or at least think twice about being a total bitch when it’s a little uncalled for.
But back on track - such an accomplishment + happy moment for Jordan + I to finish our 2nd marathon. I’m truly so proud of us for remaining our own cheerleaders, and cheering on each other through this second round of marathon training. We saw 2 of our best friends at the half way point, which was a really happy moment, and seeing my in-laws so sweetly + genuinely cheering at the very end was a really nice boost in the home stretch. Best part was seeing Jordan clap for me as I came through - he finished about 5 minutes ahead of me and looked so happy + excited as I ran by. So like all good things, we celebrated with cake. And a really, really good one at that. A Strawberry Pretzel Crunch Cake that was the perfect mix of all things fruity, sweet, a little salty, + decadent. All strawberry flavor coming from fresh strawberries + sweet strawberry jam, and then capped off with a sweet + tangy cream cheese frosting (which the best ever cream cheese buttercream I’ve ever eaten) and a salty pretzel crunch. A sweet + fruity cake for me with a little bit of a salty pretzel bite for Jordan. A perfect combo of our flavor preferences coming together in one really, really good cake.
For the cake
3 c. flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 c. unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 c. granulated sugar
2 eggs + 4 egg whites, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
1 c. strawberry puree (3 c. fresh strawberries pureed + reduced over medium heat to thicken)
1 tbsp strawberry jam
Whole fresh strawberries (to decorate the cake) - I dipped a few of mine in extra white chocolate from the pretzel crunch
For the pretzel crunch
1/2 c. milk powder
1/2 c. pretzels, pulverized in the food processor
2 tbsp (16.9 g) cornstarch
2 tbsp (25 g) granulated sugar
1/2 tsp (3 g) salt
4 tbsp (56.5 g) unsalted butter melted
1/4 c. white choc. chips, melted
For the cream cheese buttercream
1 1/2 c. unsallted butter (3 sticks), room temp
4 oz. cream cheese, room temp
6 c. powdered sugar, sifted
3 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
fresh strawberries, thinly sliced (save for assembling the cake)
Heat the oven to 325. Prepare 3-6 inch cake pans with cooking spray, a light sprinkle of flour, + parchment paper at the bottom of the pan.
Start with whisking together the flour, salt, + baking powder in a separate bowl. Add the butter + sugar to the stand mixer, and beat at medium high so they cream together. Add in the eggs + egg white, continuing to mic on meduim heat until incorporated. Add in the vanilla. Turn the speed of the mixer to low - alternating between mixing in a cup of the dry ingredients + 1/2 the strawberry puree + another cup of the dry ingredients + 1/2 the puree, and then the rest of the dry ingredients with the jam. Return the heat to medium, mixing for another minute, and scraping down the sides of the bowl - mixing until you have a smooth mixture. Separate the cake batter among the three cake pans, and cake for 35 minutes.
When the cakes have baked completely, let them cool in the cake pans at room temp for 20-30 minutes, then remove the cakes from the pan, letting them continue to cool at room temp for another 45-60 minutes. Level the cakes, so cut them so they do not have a domed top. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and place in the freezer to firm up.
For the pretzel crunch, heat the oven to 300 + line a baking sheet with parchment. Mix together the milk powder, pretzels, cornstarch, sugar, + salt. Stir in the melted butter - combine so that the entire mixture becomes most. Spread the pretzel mixture onto the baking sheet in an even layer, and bake for 15 minutes. Let it cool completely on the baking tray (about 45 minutes), + then drizzle white choc on top and break apart into small pieces. Keep tossing the mix every 3-4 minutes until white choc completely hardens. Set aside.
To make the frosting, which you should only do when you’re getting close to baking, add the butter + cream cheese to the stand mixer, mixing at medium speed for about 1 minute. Add in the powdered sugar (slowly to avoid making a huge mess), and once all is incorporated add in the cream, vanilla, + salt. Increase the speed to medium high, and mix for 5 minutes. It should be light + fluffy. Add some to a piping bag, leaving the rest in the bowl for cake assembly.
To assemble the cake, follow these steps:
Place a small smear of frosting on a cardboard cake tray, and place the first layer on a cake right in the center of your board.
Spread a thin layer of frosting right on top, leaving about 1/4 in border around the edge. Press fresh strawberries into the frosting - creating a thin layer of fresh strawberries. Sprinkle a couple tablespoon of the pretzel crunch right on top. Use your piping bag to pipe a thick barrier right around the edge of the cake.
Place the middle layer on top, and repeat previous steps.
Place the final layer on top, upside down, and spread a thin layer of the cream cheese frosting right over the top.
Dirty ice the cake, place an acrylic disc over the top (if you have one), and refrigerate the cake for 20-30 minutes. Continue with using the remainder of the frosting to ice the outside of the cake - leaving at least 1/4 cup to spread on top of the cake at the very end. Refrigerate again for another 20 minutes. Remove the acrylic disc, spread a thin layer of frosting over the top of the cake in a smooth, even layer, and decorate with fresh strawberries + leftover pretzel crunch.
I highly recommend taking some of the leftover strawberries + dipping them in extra white chocolate for the top of the cake garnish. So cute + so yummy!